Spinach Fights Back!
The FDA has now finalized its report on the E.coli O157.H7 breakout of 2006 (you can read it here), stating that "the precise means by which the bacteria spread to the spinach remain unknown."
While the FDA might be stumped, reports are coming out of people who have suspected for some time that spinach, often regarded as the most intelligent of produce, has been plotting this for years.
"I knew dem rascals were up to something," Jim Brooks, a Californian spinach farmer told PASIV reporters. "Everytime I walked the fields I thought I heard whisperin' comin' from the spinaches, but when I went over there I didn't hear nothing. Figured I just imagined the whole thing."
Haley Sunderson, another spinach farmer, recalls the moment where she became suspicuous. "I was out checking on the spinach when I noticed something out of place. Turns out in was Gorbach's book on infectious diseases. Looking back, I guess I should've told someone, but hindsight is 20/20."
While PASIV does not condone the recent activities of spinach, it should serve as a warning that our veggies are intelligent, organized, and above all, angry.
5-09-07